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Joke of the Day

"Remember the two friends who got the world record for longest staring contest? Yeah? Well turns out they aren't seeing eye to eye anymore."

"I used to be a cross dressing fireman... ...I kept getting a ladder in my tights."

"Did you just call me a boombox? Eugh that's such a stereotype"

"[Office] *Dolphin accidentally dials fax number Fax:EEphkEekakischchEEek Dolphin:Well, I don't normally do this. But yes I'm free tonight"

"You know you're ugly when.... it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera. (add your own)"

"Are you today's date? because you're an 11/10 (:"

"What number is higher than infinity? 420"

"What is the difference between your wife and your job? 5 years later your job will still suck."

"Why is America trying to bomb the lady who lives in my iPhone she seems nice"

"If you're burglarizing a home and the owner walks in, defuse the situation by saying, ""I seriously love your place"""