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Joke of the Day

"If cats could text you back, they wouldn't."

"Carmen Sandiego is probably in San Diego"

"I tried talking to this hot girl and she put her hand up and said I only think with my dick So I told her to blow my mind, then."

"Hey dude, there's 10 empty urinals in here no need to stand right next to... And now he's talking to me! Someone call 911!"

"Paramount is making a movie about a pair of Chinese race car drivers... It's called ""Two Wongs Don't Make a Right"""

"Sometimes I ask myself, what would Aquaman do? So I sit in the bathtub and cry about how useless I am."

"I caught my brother sleeping with my girlfriend... So I decided to get revenge and sleep with his mom."

"ME: hey guys what's the herps? HIM: u mean haps? M: oh, haha yea. what's the itch?I mean sitch H: uh M: hows it herpin? H: M: I have herpes"

"What do you say to a black guy with a job? Keep at it, inmate!"

"What is the difference... What is the difference between unlawful and illegal? One is against the law and the other is a sick bird."