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Joke of the Day

"What do porn stars and prostitutes say when they wake up in the morning? Time to suck today's dick!"

"Why doesn't Justin Bieber shop at Sports Authority? Cuz he likes Dicks."

"What did the middle eastern man say to his marijuana enthusiast wife? Stoner!"

"You know football is a big sport... ...now that you can buy hair gel that gives you the ""Messi look""."

"""I'm gonna look to my left and run as fast as I can."" - Toddlers"

"Did you know that Hitler made a rap album? Straight out of Mein Kampf-ton."

"What's the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him."

"It's not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you've reached your destination."

"That awkward moment at a feminist picnic when they realize no one made sandwiches."

"I don't celebrate Valentine's Day ever since I took a girl out for heart shaped pizza and I realized it was smaller than normal pizza."