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Joke of the Day

"Me: How do you like being an Uber driver. Driver: I don't work for Uber. Me: So, I just willingly climbed into a windowless van, didn't I?"

"""What's the biggest fish you ever caught?"" ""That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...."" ""That's not so big!"" ""Between the eyes?"""

"So I was having sex with a crazy girl. I was fucking insane ..."

"Did you hear about the cat that wanted to be a justice on the Supreme Court? Just kitten."

"What does a bug say when it accidentally breaks its exoskeleton? You gotta be chitin me!"

"Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only cums once a year"

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass..."

"where is the best way to hide a nutella? i'm nutelling you"

"I was asked to give a talk about ignorance... ...but I don't know anything about it."

"Why do Russians always wear track suits? Because they are always RUSSIAN to places. thanks"