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Joke of the Day

"Everyone working at a bank looks like if you said ""Marry me and I'll take you away from all this,"" they'd instantly scream ""Yes!"""

"Yeah.. 2 Girls 1 Cup I used to fap to that til I realized it wasn't ice cream."

"Can't imagine what's it like to have no imagination."

"Women are like the salt of my life They raise my blood pressure"

"Q: What kind of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? A: Iceberg."

"Just turned off porch light and saw a moth take off flying towards the moon. Good luck buddy, if you make it back, sell the story to Pixar."

"A hotdog and a hamburger are haveing a pooping contest... The hamburger is winning. In order to ketchup, the hotdog mustard."

"Why is Quicksilver so fast? Because he's Russian"

"Now the Supreme Court has ruled that corporations are legally a person with rights, there are a lot of rape charges I'm filing against them."

"I wonder during the election for Pope, did the other cardinals point to the losers and say excitedly ""you are NOT the father"""