29996

Joke of the Day

"How many Reddit mods does it take to change a lightbulb? [removed]"

"Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even."

"*toddler screaming in car seat* Husband: Sounds like someone needs a nap when we get home. Me: I know. Totally. Wake me up around 4?"

"Honey, you know the part in The 6th Sense when she drops his wedding ring & you realize he's been dead the whole time? Well I want a divorce"

"ME: I can't come in to work. My grandma died BOSS: your grandma has died 4 times this year ME: yeah she's a cat"

"Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac? He stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog."

"I've always wanted to be the best dead person ever But the competition is stiff."

"Wife and I go to subway... She says she can't decide between a 12"" or a 6"". I told her get the 6"" sandwich and I'll give you 8 inches after supper"

"Look, no hands! The worst thing you could hear during a prostate exam."

"Why is 10 traumatized forever? Because he was right in the middle of 9-11."