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Joke of the Day

"I hope I dont die on 9/11. ""He died on 9/11? His sacrifice wont be forgotten."" ""No, 9/11/27. He was checking favs in the shower and fell."""

"Me: One day I took my friend- Him: Wait, you have a friend? Me: Yes Him: Wow, ok, go on Me: So I took my friend to the vet for her shots and"

"Q: What's a tongue twister? A: When your tang gets all tongueled up."

"If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame."

"Can you fly a black hawk? Can the popes di*k fit through a donut."

"Spank me once, shame on you. Spank me twice, that's more like it."

"What do Mormons and tweakers have in common? They both ride bikes and go on missions."

"The ""oops, wrong hole"" excuse doesn't work when she catches you with her best friend."

"What do you get if you ask a former presidential candidate to write a piece of music about a formula for solving a problem based on a sequence of specified actions? An algorithm."

"[Day after Xmas] 7am: I am detoxing today, only fruit and liquids for me 9am: There are worse things than eating 14 cookies for breakfast"