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Joke of the Day

"*boss trying to relate to younger employees* ""Excited for the weekend? I know I'll be *looks down at Wikipedia print-out* Yoloing for sure!"""

"What do you call a party with no Filipino people? A no-Nguyen scenario."

"What sex act did the mobster offer his boss? A goodfellatio"

"What do you call a turtle without a shell? Dead."

"What the difference between a calender and you.... a calendar has dates."

"Back in my day, you didn't even know who was calling you when your phone rang. Shit was scary."

"My dog is coming home from surgery today and I hope he did ok. He can't afford another malpractice suit."

"I imagine a few times before he got it right, Jesus turned water into wine coolers."

"How do you know a chinese thief has broken into your house? All of your rice is gone, your computer is fixed, and the mother fucker is still trying to back out of the driveway."

"If I got karma for posts... I'd still have no karma"