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Joke of the Day

"I always wonder how Men managed to find entire continents. Mine can't even find the butter in the fridge."

"I'm very keen I could tell he was bald at the drop of a hat."

"So i was making a software to help people to stop procrastinating and never finished it."

"I saw these two blind guys about to fight and I shouted, ""My money's on the one with the knife."" You should have seen how fast they both ran off."

"My date asked me to tell her a Star Trek joke.... ...and I said ""Who do you think I am, CleVar Burton?"""

"The last thing my wife gave me before she died... ... was her epi pen. I don't know why, but it seemed like she thought it was very important that I have it."

"How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently more than 5, as my basement is still dark"

"Did you hear about corduroy pillows? They are making head lines everywhere"

"Me: Someone broke into the business next door last night. Coworker: Wasn't the building alarmed? Me: Buildings don't get scared. CW....."

"I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning."