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Joke of the Day

"[home late] Where were you? ""Uh, with my.. gf?"" Gf? Well, tell us about her! What's her name? [commercial on tv] uh.. Lisa.. Brandnewtoyota"

"If there is one thing the Internet has taught us it is that even the dumbest people on Earth have somehow learned how to use the Internet"

"Procrastination Eh, that's not an important joke; I'll tell that one later."

"Where can Grammar Nazis find asylum? Grammargentina"

"Sorry, I'm in a hurry, lets talk while we walk... You go that way."

"What do you call a surfer who loves Muhammad? A radicalized Muslim braaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

"I just plugged in a USB cord on the first try. My wife is in for a treat tonight."

"when you push a pull door and the person behind says ""you need to pull"" aye cheers lad sure next plan was to start lifting from the bottom"

"Hear about the farmer that stepped on a rake? He had two acres."

"Vegetarians eat vegetables... What do veterinarians eat? (you thought I was gonna ask about humanitarians, didn't you?)"