29649

Joke of the Day

"I would never take candy from a stranger, but I'd probably follow a trail of bacon straight into the back of a windowless white van."

"I like my beer like i like my violence.. Domestic"

"Even if you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid!"

"churches should have punch cards and if you go ten times you get a free sandwich"

"If jews had a planet I would call it Jewpiter"

"Lemonade Stand At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

"What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill? Hope you're ready for the next episode"

"Misery loves company. But not you. Even Misery has standards."

"My mum showed my girlfriend my baby photos. ""You haven't changed at all,"" said my girlfriend. ""Alright mum,"" I said, ""that's enough of the naked ones."""

"[at interview] Interviewer: tell me a little about yourself. Me: I'd rather not. I kinda want this job."