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Joke of the Day

"If my life had a soundtrack it would be the sound of a rusty gate slowly closing and then falling off its hinges onto a bunch of ugly cats..."

"""97% of the world's population is homosexual."" - survey based on YouTube comments"

"""This looks like an open and shut case!"" a police detective buying luggage."

"Totally going to buy a tiny pet crow for myself. Gonna call it Micro."

"I've lost all my pokemon cards in a house fire... I've only got Ash now."

"Going to the toy store, pressing the ""TRY ME"" button on a toy and the fucking thing wont stop...So you just try to get the fuck out of there like nothing happened."

"What did Rihanna say to her grandma with Alzheimer's? Oh na na, what's my name?"

"What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life? Fred and George Weasley."

"What country has the loosest regulations on incest? Google was no help, any idea?"