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Joke of the Day

"The lonelier you are the more likely you are to incorrectly believe your cell phone just vibrated."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one. They hold the bulb and expect the world to revolve around them. Edit: missed the y in they Thanks u/HapaHeather"

"Apparently, you can only say ""Look at you! You got so big!"" to kids. Old girlfriends tend to get offended. Who knew?"

"If Tom Brady joined Nickelback... They'd become 30 cents."

"The fastest way to get to the front of the line at Starbucks is just to tell everyone you saw Adele outside."

"There was a kidnapping earlier today But then he woke up"

"Why did the chicken cross the street to get to the other side #rekt"

"Why do they call it PMS Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken"

"The joke is on you, fruit flies. We don't even have any fruit."

"What looks like a dog sounds like a dog eats like a dog but isn't a dog? A pup."