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Joke of the Day

"TIL of an incident during the Cold War when American ships, fearing a Soviet attack, nearly fired on a friendly vessel. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Drank enough whiskey to talk the husband into a Titanic reenactment. He's laying in the snow and I won't share the picnic table with him."

"What did the Mexican say to the Italian? Que pasta?"

"What has 3 thumbs and was born near a nuclear power plant? This guy"

"Did you hear Jesus won all the swimming events? He walked it."

"I was watching the film, 'A Perfect Murder,' with my wife She told me she was getting scared. ""Is it the storyline?"" I asked. ""Not really,"" she replied. ""Stop taking notes."""

"What do you call a fashionable Japanese warrior? Glamurai"

"Michael Cera, in a public restroom, pinned to the opposite wall by the force of the hand-dryer."

"The racist chainsaw when you turn it on it will roar out ""RUNNN-niggernigger!"""

"Him: God you smell good, what is that? Me: chicken nuggets"