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Joke of the Day

"When I was young, you could go into a corner shop with 1 and come out with 2 cokes, 3 Freddos and a magazine. Nowadays, there's CCTV everywhere."

"why did both ass-cheeks get fired from work? One was always left behind causing the other to half-ass everything"

"I have earned 800.25 as a male prostitute Too bad each of them paid 0.25"

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator"

"How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black."

"So I heard Rolf Harris got 5 years, 9 months... His favourite"

"Match dot com, but for socks."

"The mechanic has informed me that the shrieking sound I hear in my car on my way to work is apparently me."

"How do police informants begin their jokes? Nark Nark"

"A horse walks into a bar and orders an N."