29117
Joke of the Day
"My most redeeming quality is the fact that I return bottles for cash."
Next Joke
"TIL the British used U-boats Whoops, wrong sub"
"What's a pirates favorite letter?"
"The new guy at work has been getting a lot of customer complaints lately. Probably because I wear his name tag when he's not there."
"How many defensive coordinators does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. You can't fit a hairless ten-year-old inside a light bulb."
"A fish angrily clutches an umbrella, furious he's still getting wet"
"My Google searches read like an alien trying learn how to be a person."
"When I see someone has 1,500 followers on twitter, I think ""that person must b funny"". 1,500 friends on FB ""that person is batshit crazy"""
"Today I Called Shotgun... And the cop still put me in the backseat..."
"Honey, I think the milks gone bad ""what makes you say that dear?"" *milk presses the gun to my back* just a hunch, btw where's your purse?"