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Joke of the Day

"Dog (curled up, napping): I never poop on the carpet and I love cats. Wife: Is the dog talking in its sleep? ""Shhh let sleeping dogs lie."""

"this is ur captain. sory for descending thru another cloud but ralph told me it was posible to land on one of these things so we keep trying"

"Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris."

"Cross a mobster in the streets. Horse's head in the sheets."

"My grandma accidentally swallowed a fly. Feeding her a spider now..."

"Teacher to child: 'do you know how to spell banana? Child: 'Yes, but I don't know when to stop'."

"My father never hit me. But when I was bad, he would take off his belt... And then he'd take off his pants."

"Why are blondes such bad cow herders? Because they can't keep their calves together"

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them."

"Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ? A: Turkey."