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Joke of the Day

"What's green and has wheels? A Pickle and I lied about the wheels."

"What's the opposite of running away and getting married? Anteloping."

"Threesome fun!!! I had planned a threesome, but there were two no shows. I still had fun though!!!"

"I got in touch with my inner child and the little shit hung up on me."

"Am I in the Mile High Club if I jerk off under a blanket on a plane? Just kidding, United doesn't have blankets. Sorry lady in seat 21B"

"What did the poor composer say to his friend? I am baroque, can you lend me some money?"

"If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive.. They would eventually find me attractive"

"What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him? Get bent!"

"Why are there never any cool side affects from drugs? Like ""this drug may cause severe sexiness"""

"Welcome to Business Job. Squeeze my hand and I'll squeeze yours. There, now we're acquaintances. Here's your 3 walls and chair."