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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never paid $100 to have a lentil on my face."

"Every 15 minutes, a woman gets run over. She's starting to get pissed."

"On the news: there's a shortage of maternity-ward staff. You could say it's a bit of a...*looks away* *mumbles* MIDWIFE crisis! (...sorry.)"

"John Travolta looks like the type of guy that would leave his toupee in a truck stop urinal for hours and then wear it to a musical."

"what do Mike Tyson and outdoor patios have in common? They're both roofless."

"I'm not real familiar with who this Rorschach guy is... ...but he sure loves painting pictures of naked dudes."

"What's Hillary Clinton's favorite work of art? Pneumonia Lisa"

"What did the sassy monkey say to the bad monkey? You don't deserve a banana."

"Wow, I got this new lamp from the store and didn't use a dime! But instead, I used 30$"

"Play on Words I really want to come up with a play on words but I don't know how it will do in front of an audience."