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Joke of the Day

"What did the male eskimo say to the female eskimo right before having sex? I'm gunna fuck you Inuit pussy."

"I've got a black eye, a $200 fine and I've been listed on a register...turns out taking candy from a baby wasn't so easy after all."

"[NSFW]What does a woman, fridge and washing machine all have in common? They all drip when they're fucked."

"A very old joke: why is the letter r so important? Because without it, our friends would be fiends."

"Dont think about tomorrow because thats when the judge starts using the term premeditated."

"Yesterday I bought an expensive but poorly made tie... I think my ascot ripped off!"

"I just finished an exciting book on 19th century shipbuilding techniques... It was riveting."

"What do you give to someone who has everything? Antibiotics!"

"My teacher pointed at me with...... My teacher pointed at me with his ruler and said ""at the end of this ruler is and idiot!"" I got detention after I asked him which end he was referring to."

"[Looking at ultrasound monitor with my wife] Wife: Look at it's little heart beating! Isn't it amazing... Me: It looks like a crossiant"