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Joke of the Day

"centipede: *trips* *but for like, an hour*"

"What type of dog did the tweaker have? A pure bred meth lab."

"Why did the Jamaican go to Syria? To get stoned"

"""God damn it son. I'm not made out of honey!"" - Father bee to son bee."

"So I started chatting up this Asian girl after a little while she said, sex, sex, sex, free, sex for you. Her friend quickly pointed out that she was giving me her phone number 666-3642"

"A koala walks into a barber shop and hops up into the chair. He points to the excess fur that has grown around his ears and asks the barber, ""Can eucalyptus?"""

"[Bar] me: Gimme one more wife: I think you've had enough m: Last one w: Fine m: *asks waitress for another kids menu so I can do the maze*"

"Reddit admins once ate a whole Pizza Hut."

"Father: What did you learn in school today ? Son: That three and three are seven. Father: Three and three are six ! Son: I guess I didn't learn anything today then !"

"what would have they called founder of apple if it was a failure? Steve Jobless"