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Joke of the Day
"What do gnomes fear most about Christmas? They're afraid Father Christmas will give them the sack!"
Next Joke
"An anteater walks into a bar... ""First the horse, now this asshole"" remarked the bartender. Credit: u/reduxde"
"I like to help my children think up cruel nicknames for the other kids at their school."
"What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger."
"I don't understand why whiteboards don't get more recognition.. If you think about, they truly are re-markable!"
"My wife is from England so I gave her a good Rogering for Valentine's Day. He just left and she seemed to enjoy it, so... score?"
"What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands? Canta Plaus. Source: https://youtu.be/44aiB0vB36Y"
"I didn't think it was funny when I first wrote this one... I gair aunty this is gonna be five steps removed from swishing nebraskan listerine on a gold claim. ...I was right."
"What is the difference between an oil painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang an oil painting."
"What's the difference between a car tyre, and 365 condoms? One's a Goodyear, an the other's a great year."