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Joke of the Day

"I'm going as president Obama for Halloween this year. I'll tell you you're getting different candy, but it will be the same candy from last year."

"Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only comes once a year and it's down a chimney."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalottapuss! *credit goes to my brother-in-law who recently told me that one"

"Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your dog dance with you on it's hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it too."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They're both stuck up bitches."

"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Cindrella?"

"If ""Pretty Woman"" teaches us anything it's that prostitution is a lucrative, whimsical enterprise that every young woman should try."

"Did you hear about Disney's new Star Wars/ Highlander crossover? The tag line is ""There can be Obi-Wan."""

"Why couldn't Donald Trump cross the road? Because a wall was blocking his way"

"Auto-erotic asphyxiation You can go on about it until you're blue in the face, I'm still not interested."