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Joke of the Day
"Capitalism is horrible Buy my book to find out why!"
Next Joke
"A pond would tell you about introspection if it wasn't so busy self-reflecting."
"Avoid office small talk by maintaining that facial expression between first sneeze and second sneeze."
"I read that 10 out of 2 people suffer from dyslexia"
"I used the toilet just after my wife and noticed that her shit really does smell of roses. Hardly surprising. She's polished off four tins of the fuckers in the last two days"
"Don't give her a Fitbit for Mother's Day. I repeat, don't give her a Fitbit for Mother's Day."
"What are the odds of an anorexic girl joining the clergy? Slim to nun."
"What do you the balcony seats at the theater? The Wilkes Booth."
"Telling me to calm down is the easiest way to get me to tell you to go fuck yourself."
"Contrary to popular belief, you actually CAN drink lava But only once"