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Joke of the Day

"What are the odds of an anorexic girl joining the clergy? Slim to nun."

"Buy an aquarium. Don't buy fish. Tell guests there are fish. Enjoy time spent not having to talk to guests while they look for fish."

"It was called a jumpoline...... Until your mom got on it."

"Why is it illegal for a person living in Virginia to be buried in Texas? ...because they're still alive."

"Who served as the 45th Vice President of the United States? [Warning: Gore]"

"I eat cake every day because I know somewhere out there, it's someone's birthday and I need to show respect."

"What do you call a black priest? Holy Shit."

"A jewish guy asks his father for $20 His father replied, ""ten dollars? what in the world do you need five dollars for, I'd be happy to give you a dollar, here's a quarter."

"What travels down an alley and is full of holes? Batman's Parents."

"Sitting behind a couple in this theater that's making out. I'm gonna lean forward and whisper ""This is nice"" in a minute."