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Joke of the Day
"Hey beautiful, is your Dad in prison? Because if I was your Father I would be.."
Next Joke
"You have enough fat to make another human."
"[airplane intercom] good afternoon ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking why did you leave without me"
"What kind of flooring does a Mexican fit? Underlay! Underlay!"
"boss: trouble at home? me: [jumps awake at my desk] yeah boss: wife giving you grief? me: there's a bee in my kitchen"
"Your Mom is so old... She had to use her own face for emoticons."
"Who is Thor? A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: http://amzn.com/B00BERRBI2)"
"Im proud to be a black man! Said the black man Im proud to be an asian man! Said the asian man Im proud to be a white man! Said the racist"
"What does a vegetable get in bowling? A-spare-I-guess"
"Where do you get 'Extra Virgin' olive oil? Really ugly olives."