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Joke of the Day

"Never Go Shopping When You Are Hungry. but it's been over a week now and every day I just get hungrier."

"My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. That's all I'm spending on her for Christmas. So far, she's only getting a McChicken."

"Did you guys hear about the talking polar bear? He's very arcticulate! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Facebook is essentially a machine that eats time and shits thumbs."

"my high school class voted me ""most likely to hover over the snack table at the ten year reunion"""

"Why do fat chicks give good head? Because they have to"

"What did the fish say when he accidentally swam into a wall? Oh dam"

"What do you call a black guy flying a plane A pilot you RACIST!"

"Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they can't afford any more pork."

"I walked up to my 9yo and said, ""How goes it?"" He looks up at me and says, ""God is history's greatest serial killer."""