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Joke of the Day

"Smokey: ""Only you can prevent forest fires"" Me: HOLY SHIT A TALKING BEAR"

"My brother told me I have the body of a god. Buddha!"

"Sometimes I think we are capable of great things as a species, but then I notice how many people can't put their shopping cart away."

"What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common ? They both have 'the' as their middle names !"

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar Don't worry you'll soon change !"

"A monk to another, ""O! master, is it proper for a monk to use email?"" ""Sure, as long as there are no attachments"", replied the other."

"On the topic of Transformers ""Have you guys seen the new toys? They've changed too much! They were so much better when we were little!"" ""...Transformers are supposed to change"""

"What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home? When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!"

"No one is perfect. Everyone's Ass has a crack in it."

"Looked up from a text message and thought, ""Oh shit. I'm driving."""