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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid I used to ask my my papa... ""Whatcha doin?"" Papa would say, ""I'M MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS."" Best advice ever."

"DATE:[texting friend] he keeps comparing stuff to athletes ME: *returning from bathroom* man they got the michael jordan of toilets in there"

"Engineering students are always confused by women... ....why do the ones with the most streamlined bodies put up the most resistance?"

"Two men are making love in a meadow, they both are struck by lightning and die. Which one goes to heaven first? The one on the bottom because he already has his shit packed and ready to go."

"I woke up to the crack of Dawn the other day... I said ""Dawn! Get off my face!"""

"Why is Han Solo a loner? Because he's solo."

"Why the hate for necromancers?T They're just trying to raise a family."

"Can you open your mouth without showing your teeth? You're hired."

"Hey dad I'm tired! There's a nap for that. :)"

"What goes red and white, red and white, red and white? Santa Claus rolling down a hill."