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Joke of the Day
"Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?"
Next Joke
"Me: Ma'am your pet is loud. Lady: That's my baby. Me: Ma'am your pet baby is loud"
"Figured out how to jailbreak my dog and now I'm running all the cool cat apps on him - watching him go nuts on a piece of string right now"
"Dear Californians- Quit telling everyone there's a drought. The ocean is right there. You're just lazy."
"If Trump is the answer.... How stupid is the question?"
"Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don't believe in higher powers!"
"My Christian friend asked 4 proof there is no God.nnI pointed out Adam Sandler is a multimillionaire movie starnnNow my friend's an atheist"
"[texting] Wife: Clean out your bowels. Me: OK. Wife: *bowls. The ones in the sink Me: *chugging laxatives* Damn it."
"Christmas Trees and The Pope Q: What do Christmas trees and The Pope have in common?? A: Their balls are for decoration only"
"What do you call an alien starship that drips water? A crying saucer."