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Joke of the Day

"What is the best part of a Jonestown joke? The punchline"

"In Jamaica, how do you know if a mango is ripe? Pokemon Go!"

"Which beer did the flower drink that made it realize that it was smarter when it was young? Budweiser"

"What are the four food groups? For bachelors: Fast Frozen Junk and Spoiled. For drinkers: Malt Hops Barley and Yeast. For heavies: Caffeine Fat Sugar Chocolate."

"*loses faith in humanity* ""this is the type of problem that can only be solved by 13 photos of unlikely animal friendships"""

"[Kool-Aid Man breaks thru wall] Oh ya! [breaks 2nd wall] Oh ya! [3rd wall] OHHH YEAAHH! [breaks 4th wall] I've had many, many concussions"

"""Dad, are they allowed to put two people in the same grave?"" ""I don't think so, son. Why do you ask?"" ""Because that headstone over there says, 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"""

"I'm just not convinced that banning the sale of sentient death robots decreases deaths. The research just isn't there."

"My boss pulled up in his new car today so I complimented him on it. He responded "" if you set your goals, work hard and execute, I can buy an even better one next year"""

"What did Hitler say when he rose to power? Give me all Germany. (Ger-money) Yeah I'm sorry. On my way out."