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Joke of the Day

"2 birds talking to each other I think I need to take a shit. What are you waiting for? A car."

"Pilots will get this. RETARD! RETARD!"

"What did Darth Vader say to Luke on his birthday? I know what you're going to get, I felt your presents"

"What does Pikachu say when he puts too much salsa on his food? PIKA PIKA PIKA (Credit to my 5 year old son)"

"Not so great minds also think alike."

"Why does the Pope kiss the ground when he gets off his plane? You would too if you had to fly Alitalia."

"Boss confused me with another employee and fired me. Then called two days later to fire me for not showing up for 2 days. #HowIGotFired"

"I think it'd be cool to be immortal for a day, just to see what it's like."

"Marriage is like a seesaw. It's not fun if one of them is fat."

"It's amazing that no one at this swim up bar has had to go to the bathroom in the last three hours."