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Joke of the Day

"How do two gays propose? They both get on all fours and present the ring!"

"I bought an extension ladder from a recovering alcoholic on Craigslist... But it only has 12 Steps!"

"My girlfriend makes me want to be a better man... so that I can get a better girlfriend."

"Rene Descartes is chilling with his girlfriend. She asks: ""What are you thinking of?"" He says: ""Nothing."" and disappears."

"How many Millennials does it take... to screw in a lightbulb? None. Their parents will do it for them."

"Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights"

"Are you made of berillium, gold and titanium? Because you are BeAuTiful."

"I drank too much over the holidays. I was at the doctor's yesterday and gave a urine sample. It had an olive in it."

"All alcohol will make my clothes fall off... tequila just makes that happen in public."

"I don't know why people object to CIA torture methods. Who doesn't like to go water boarding?"