27515

Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone's robbing my house, I pretend I'm robbing it too then I make off with as much of my stuff as possible."

"Doctor doctor I keep trying to get into fights. And how long have you had this complaint? Who wants to know?"

"Q: What did the finger say to the thumb? A: I'm in glove with you."

"Aids... -What would prevent AIDS from spreading in Africa? -Sex only after lunch"

"What do you call a kid with no friends (warning offensive) A sandy hook survivor."

"I accidentally clicked on a ""You've won an iPhone""-popup. Luckliy it was only a virus."

"I've just bought the new Beach Boys mobile phone. The ringtones are shit but it has good vibrations."

"Why do people call Donald Trump a clown? Because we used to find him funny, but now he's just shit-your-pants terrifying."

"I overdosed on my homeopathic medicine today. Forgot to take it."

"My chiropractor told me I have to stop using air quotes when I call him ""doctor."""