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Joke of the Day

"I like to end all my phone calls with ""Ok, I'll see you later on at the party!"" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out."

"There are 3 perks of having Alzheimer 1. You can make new friends every day. 2. You can look for the Easter eggs you hid yourself. 3. You can make new friends every day."

"What's the difference between hanging with friends and jacking it on the toilet? One means you're taking a load off and shooting the shit, the other is taking a shit and shooting a load off."

"I went to a Zoo last week.... It had no animals there apart from one little dog!!!! It was a Shih Tzu"

"[Date] Me: You're a scientist? Him: Yeah M: You like chemistry? H: M: Wanna get in my genes? H: M: *slow winks* H: Are you having a stroke?"

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."

"Girls at parties are like parking spaces, if you're late all the good ones are gone, So when nobody's looking you stick it in the disabled one...."

"Stephen Hawking is an inspiration He's earned millions in the past 10 years without lifting a finger."

"If I got karma for posts... I'd still have no karma"

"Somehow stumbled upon a nude beach. . Yeah, found myself in the middle of no wear."