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Joke of the Day

"Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha."

"Brains are awesome... I wish everyone had one."

"What's high in the middle and round on both ends? Ohio."

"Those guys spinning giant arrows outside of stores are great at getting attention but they might need some pointers on how arrows work."

"I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister... It was wrong on so many levels."

"America is that sexy classmate everyone had a crush on in high school, not aging that well but you'd still hit it."

"Karma points do not reflect your self worth Now gimme my karma points!"

"Just left WalMart. All the cute well behaved kids must be at Target."

"A blind man enters a fishmarket... ""Hello Ladies"""

"if someone asks you about yourself say ""OK, sit down, this is going to be a really long story"" then just wander off"