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Joke of the Day

"What religion do ghosts practice? Boo-ddhism"

"What is a pirate's worst nightmare? A sunken chest and no booty."

"[restaurant] *patpatpat* ME: you hear that? *patpatPATPAT* DATE: what the [penguin bolts out of kitchen with a fish] CHEF: SOMEBODY STOP HIM"

"What did the man say to his penis when it offered him a fight? Come on then you *little squirt*!"

"Why do japanese have small eye slits? because nuclear explosions are so fucking bright. (i'm going to hell for this)"

"Every time I approach girls they inexplicably shoot away from me. Can't say definitively if I have the force but... The correlation is strong with this one."

"I feel bad for all of the couples who got married in Vegas last week But at least their love will burn with a firey passion..."

"Why can't someone who wears glasses get a job? They don't have any contacts!"

"What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You've gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message"

"""Son, I don't think you're cut out to be a mime."" ""Was it something I said?"" Asks the son. ""Yes."""