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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to adopt a tapeworm. Perfect pet, cheap to feed, doesn't pee, bark, chew stuff or sit on your head. Best bit, it makes you skinny."

"""20 McNuggets for $5? That's like a quarter a nugget!"" I exclaimed, hoping that my dinner date would be impressed with my math skills."

"How do you turn a fox into a cow? Marry them"

"What blood type does a motivational speaker have? B Positive!"

"Nixon had to be photographed at an angle to make him appear upright. One of the drawbacks of him having a list."

"Dear People of The World, I don't mean to sound slutty but use me whenever you want. Sincerely, Proper Grammar."

"My rebellious teenage son robbed our local Chinese food restaurant ""You stole all of their chicken?!"" Tso"

"I got charged with rape in the woods..... It's because I forest her."

"I like my women like I like my rum... Aged 12 years and mixed up in coke."

"Why did the samurai hate nonsense? Because he was a sensei."