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Joke of the Day
"Randomly print things to give your co-workers the impression you're working."
Next Joke
"What's the maximum velocity while having sex? 68, cause at 69 you flip over"
"W.I.F.E Will Investigate & Find out Everything"
"What did the velociraptor say after his workout? I'm a little dino-sore."
"Damn you autocorrect for making me look like an idiom. Always trying to make a tool out of me."
"What's known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn't use its full name, which happens to be ""Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division""."
"Taco Bell doesn't have a playground because its hard to have fun when you might shit your pants"
"Sometimes I wish life had subtitles."
"What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch? I ate so many chickpeas, now I falafel."
"Nothing wakes you up faster than a 5 y/o kicking open your door like SWAT and jumping on you in bed."