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Joke of the Day

"I can either be on time or wearing pants. Pick one."

"I bought my son a refrigerator for his birthday I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it."

"I just bought a really expensive car, only to find the reverse gear broken. There's no going back now."

"Jesus walks into a bar, puts three nails on the counter, and says to the barkeep ... ""Hey, could you put me up for the night?"""

"If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later leaves on Friday how does he do it? The horse's name is Friday!"

"What is the worst thing about being black and Jewish? You have to stand at the back of the oven."

"Why is Helium so trustworthy? Because HE's noble."

"How do you make an Asian Blind? you put a windshield in front of them"

"Why do you look surprised in all your selfies? Didn't you know you were taking the picture?"

"If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, what would he be famous for? Old age."