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Joke of the Day

"I just bought a really expensive car, only to find the reverse gear broken. There's no going back now."

"Want to spice things up? Look them right in the eyes and lick their fingers seductively. My dentist didn't appreciate it, but yours might."

"Today I saw a dead baby ghost... Upon reflection, it might have been a handkerchief."

"What did the man with dyslexia do while he was at the beach? Sarah Palin"

"I got into a heated debate with my friend about time travel... We really opened a can of wormholes."

"I told a waitress she was much prettier without glasses so she set down her tray of drinks."

"My friend is afraid of fruit. So I told him to grow a pear."

"Major Tom: This is Major Tom to Ground Control I'm stepping through the door & I'm floating in a most peculiar way GC: New phone. Who dis?"

"What does a rich fat Englishman gain? Lots of Pounds."

"My wife said that if anything ever happened to her, she'd want me to meet someone new. Apparently, getting stuck in traffic doesn't count as ""anything""."