26968

Joke of the Day

"I cried because my Wi-Fi was slow until I saw a guy stuck talking with his kids because he had no internet at all."

"Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?? In case he got a hole in one"

"She said she hates my analogies and wishes I would communicate like a normal person, but that's like telling a samurai not to use his sword"

"If you watch ""The Empire Strikes Back"" backwards it's about a kid so traumatized to learn his dad's identity he starts hitting on his sister"

"Wife: The police are here asking about a break in at the pet store Me from within a pile of puppies: Tell them I'm not here."

"How many Hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Some obscure number... you've probably never heard of it....."

"I went swimming in the Black Sea. It stole my trunks."

"I always carry a jar gripper with me in case I'm ever stranded on a deserted island with a jar of salsa. I also always carry a jar of salsa."

"What do you call a dinosaur with herpes? ...a Cankersaurus!"

"I have a phobia of over engineered buildings. It's a complex complex complex."