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Joke of the Day
"3 am phone call, ""Hey, are you asleep?"" Nope, Im skydiving."
Next Joke
"What do you call a website that steals all of Reddit's Hitler jokes? Nein Gag."
"""It's all about being confident in the way your butthole looks."" - cats."
"I phoned the local gym... and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'"
"How many activists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because they can't change anything."
"I'm on a plane and I see my friend Jack. Instinctively I say, ""Hi Jack!"" Still don't understand why I was detained."
"How do you know if air fresheners have gotten too smart? If they have become scent-ient."
"stay safe this international men's day. make sure your man is at least 165 degrees in the center"
"My lesbian friends got me a Rolex for Christmas I don't think they understood when I said 'I wanna watch'"
"""Alright they've left for vacation lets rob em"" Oh shoot their porch lights are on ""So what we literally watched them leave"" Rules are rules"