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Joke of the Day

"It's funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second."

"Pig's explanation for the creation of the Universe: The Pig Bang Theory."

"Hey, which Instagram filter takes out all the insecurities?"

"Some lady brought a gaggle of pre-teens to the movie, sat them down next to us & then sat elsewhere. I sold them all on the black market."

"How does a mathematician get to work? He derives!"

"Mother: Does your teacher like you ? Son: Like me she loves me. Look at all those X's on my test paper !"

"I could tell you a rape joke But it would sound forced"

"What's the difference between your girlfriend's yeast infection and the brand of peanut butter your Mom used? The peanut butter was easier to get off the roof of your mouth ..."

"[job interview for garbageman] interviewer: I like your enthusiasm, you're hired Three raccoons in trench coat: [ecstatic chittering]"

"How does ISIS turn on their water heater? They light the pilot on fire."