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Joke of the Day

"My coat is so covered with dog fur that someone's probably going to throw red paint on me at some point today."

Next Joke
 
"remember when u found out the french word for seal was phoque and u were like this is the best day of my phoquing life"
"What do you call it when a frog jumps off a bridge? Kermitting suicide."
"What's red, 6in. long and my gf cries when I feed it to her? Her Miscarriage."
"Why does Reddit hate Fencing? Ripostes"
"Met a hot isis girl Jihad me at hello"
"Why didn't the grizzly bear dissolve? Because he wasn't polar"
"War does not determine who is right... ...only who is left."
"An Irishman walks out of a bar... ...could happen."
"Florist: ""Would you like your flowers wrapped?"" Me: ""Nope, they're going right into the shredder before I give them to my sister-in-law."""