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Joke of the Day

"My coat is so covered with dog fur that someone's probably going to throw red paint on me at some point today."

"Next dude that complains about the friendzone will be step-son zoned. I will literally marry your dad and step-son zone you. Try me."

"Why don't you get back in your little car with lights and pull over someone who cares."

"What do you get when you cross worms with elephants? Big holes in your garden"

"I was recently diagnosed with depression It made me sad"

"The poorest man can be rich if he gets a bunch of money."

"Always carry a newspaper or magazine so you appear to be preoccupied. - stalker handbook page 2 paragraph 3"

"Did you hear the one about the guy who got two tickets to the Cuckold Convention? His wife ended up taking someone else."

"There should be a millennial edition of Monopoly where you just walk around the board paying rent, never able to buy anything."

"Q: How do you make any watch a stopwatch? A: Don't wind it."