26212

Joke of the Day

"Why did the man cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken."

"Difference between a prostitute and a slut The prostitute sleeps with everybody. The slut sleeps with everybody except me."

"Mum!! Please can you take me to the toilet? No! I'm busy. Ask your grandmother. Actually I'd rather ask Grandad. His hand shakes more."

"Why didn't they just call ""Ant-Man"" Uncle? Credit to Steve Higgins from The Tonight Show."

"Who is this Rorschach guy? And why does he keep making paintings of my parents fighting?"

"My rare penny collection isn't very wise... It completely lacks common cents."

"Forget a joke you read on /r/jokes? Don't worry, it'll be posted again next week."

"What will happen if you put anal lube where oil should be in your car? I don't really know, but I think it will run pretty shitty"

"My Girlfriend My girlfriend is an epidimiologist and I'm a stand-up comedian so that means I have a lot of chores I have to go do. Later."

"When Geese fly in a ""V"" formation, do you know why one side of the ""V"" is longer? There's more geese on that side."