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Joke of the Day

"I'm coming out with a new type of whiskey called cunt... So when someone asks me what i want to drink I'll yell cunt liquor."

"Sorry I wrote ""All dogs matter"" on your ""I my Weimaraner"" bumper sticker."

"""This is your Captain speaking. My co-pilot just bet me we can't do a barrel roll. So fasten your belts cuz I got five bucks riding on this"""

"did you hear about the new fruit powered motor? it runs on apples but it still mangoes"

"I wake up every morning feeling like a Japanese democracy. Huge erection."

"How to get a Jewish girl's number? Roll up her sleeve..."

"Kids are smarter than adults I believe that kids are much smarter than adults. Why? Because I don't know one kid who has a wife and a family."

"Maybe the reason you're not having *sexual intercourse* is because you call it sexual intercourse."

"[medusa's husband sighing and pulling a wad of snakes out of the shower drain]"