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Joke of the Day

"I sleep better naked...why can't the flight attendant understand this?"

"What do you call an Arabic woman being double penetrated? A sandbitch"

"New Adage! Coined a phrase today and wanted to share: ""You either go with the flow, or get flushed down the toilet."" Pretty cunning don't 'cha think?"

"[speed dating] Anyway, do you have a baby hedgehog? ""No."" *I take a deep breath and roll my eyes* [timer beeps]"

"Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."

"What's the difference between a crab with a boob job and a dirty bus station? One's a busty crustacean and the other's a crusty bus station."

"How come nobody tells ""Nacho"" jokes anymore? They're too cheesy."

"Trying to convince a kid, no matter the age, that they're tired, is like trying to tell a drunk they're drunk. Denial & anger will follow."

"Don't EVER let anyone tell you you're not worth anything. You can get at least ten grand for one of your kidneys."

"Paid $80 for a screw I picked up on my lunch hour. The only thing that blew was my tire."