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Joke of the Day

"9 out of 10 wives agree their husbands are always wrong and the other one just doesn't wanna talk about it right now."

"The baby in the car next to me is either unable to control his arms or hes throwing me gang signs. Im not taking any chances. *locks doors*"

"Man outside walmart is asking for donations for the drug and alcohol outreach program You mean there's people who don't have access to them?"

"guy next to me on my flight is just staring forward. no movie, no book, nothing. so its been nice knowing you I'm about to be murdered"

"Descartes walks into a bar... The bartender asks, ""can I get you a drink"" to which Descartes replies, ""I think not"" and *poof* Descartes disappears."

"Why does Tiger Woods have a bad sex life? He always finishes in the least amount of strokes."

"The man who invented the ""VELCRO"" died today.... ...RIP."

"When the pilot says, ""This is your captain speaking,"" I like to brush the hair from his eyes and whisper, ""This is your passenger listening"""

"Heard this really good joke at work today. You guys would've really loved it."