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Joke of the Day

"I went by the house I grew up in and went to the door and asked if I could take a look around. They said ""no"" and slammed the door in my face Parents can be real jerks"

"Why wasn't drinking permitted on the Oregon trail? It was important not to fall off the wagon."

"Your neck tattoo says ""Only God can judge me,"" yet here I am."

"A knock-knock joke for identical twins Knock Knock Who's there? Who's. Who's who? I'm Andrew and that's Anthony."

"My boyfriend wakes me up when he wants to have sex... Do I wake him up when I want to buy shoes???... No!!!"

"A jumper cable walks into a bar The bartender says, ""Sure, you can stay, but don't start anything!"""

"At my age getting lucky means having the house to myself"

"The Snooze Button: because your first act of the day should be procrastination."

"What's it called when you try not to get knocked unconscious by a Taser? Resisting a rest."

"What was Jesus's least favourite exercise class? Pontius Pilates."